Sliders: Yes They [Blackfinn] Can

I'd written a mildly scathing post about Blackfinn American Saloon, where my colleagues and I lunched today. I decided to start over, though, and give you something a bit more positive. It's not that the food or service was terrible, it was just bewildering. I don't feel the need to harp; I'm not unhappy. It was just weird, watery split pea soup (which is, if I'm not crazy, normally luxuriously thick and velvety) and an odd and ultimately unfulfilling skewer experience (my fellow staff had mixed bags, themselves).

But these two lunch fails were bookended with decisive lunch victories. The boss ordered some mix'n'match slider apps, and although the beef patty sliders were mundane, the pulled pork alternatives were EXCELLENT. Tender and juicy, neither too sweet nor too fatty, and well stuffed for the minute vehicle of their little buns. Hungry Sam stamp of approval.

On the flip side, the end of the meal brought sliders of another variety. Ice cream on warm cookies!!! Now, being a Portland Sea Dogs fan (wooo AA baseball!), I know these to be knockoffs of our own Sea Dog Biscuits. But these were pretty legit -- the warm cookie got the ice cream melting just enough and the cup you see in the center is filled with hot fudge.

All in all? Blackfinn, I'm worried at your inconsistency and perplexed at some odd choices. If you don't do it well, keep it off the menu. But definitely continue making sliders of all varieties.

Please.

Smoothies are a Bust

I've been pretty positive-minded about food, at least in the context of this here blog. But I do have unpleasant or disappointing experiences with meals and dishes -- and often, I repeat these experiences. Maybe it's a belief in redemption or just a failure to learn, who knows.

From a vegan food blog at kitteekake.blogspot.com. On another note, Google "smoothie fail" and check out the images results. Hilarious.

One food that I have consistently found underwhelming and yet have given NUMEROUS chances is smoothies, particularly non-homemade smoothies. Smoothies are cold, sometimes icy, theoretically "smooth" blends of fruit and juice or yogurt, often with supplements mixed in. At their best, they're largely comprised of just these elements; at their worst they include syrups, added sugar, or space-age concoctions the likes of which I shudder to consider.

After the gym this morning, being slightly too lazy to cross the street for another awesome egg sandwich from Potbelly, I hit up Robek's (a far-more-widespread-than-I-thought corporate smoothie joint) for my protein/calorie fix. Why, I can't imagine -- as I say, I haven't had many positive smoothie experiences. After receiving suggestions from the very pleasant young man and woman behind the counter, I settled on a Banana-Mango smoothie with added protein powder. I figured this would be tasty, reasonably proteinaceous, and with only a moderate amount of sugar.

In a word? Underwhelming. First off, it was inevitably overpriced ($5), as purchased smoothies ALWAYS are. Second, it was so damn sweet that I could feel my tooth enamel begging for help, the sort of saccharine sweet that makes you want to hit up the dentist for a cleaning afterward. Thirdly, you know how much protein was in that supplement? Six grams. SIX?!?! That's like the protein in a very small glass of milk, or one ounce of chicken. Bah!

I went out an hour later and bought another Potbelly breakfast sandwich.

I promise Thanksgiving montage madness is forthcoming -- ComCast just needs to fix the series of tubes that bring Internets to my house.

Presidential Thanksgiving; the Onion

My post about Thanksgiving is forthcoming (anyone know how to do a photo montage? Or something?) but I'm just pretty pleased that the New York Times (all the news that's fit to print/post on the interwebs) lists the First Family's Thanksgiving menu.

My take: That's a lot of pie, Mr. President.

I prefer the Onion News Network video, in which Obama outlines the moral and philosophical justifications for the annual Turkey Pardon. Enjoy:

Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon

And who says legitimate journalism is dead?

Know Why These Beans are Smiling?

Because they're dark chocolate covered espresso beans (which is, after all, also why I'm currently smiling).

Getting Hungry Sam through the afternoon, one bean at a time.

BREAKING NEWS: Breakfast Sandwich

Post-gym, pre-work, I habitually go to Caribou Coffee, where I buy a $4 version of the exact same banana and walnut oatmeal I make at home (except mine's better) and a coffee. Well, this morning, the line at Caribou was absurd (I HATE waiting in lines. Any other shape is fine; lines frustrate me.) -- so I crossed the street and hit up Potbelly, which was emptier than my tummy on Yom Kippur. I'd seen that they make breakfast sandwiches, but since I consider Potbelly a treat, I'd yet to try one.

MMMMMM. See? It's got some ham, and a little omelet, mushrooms, swiss, some lettuce, a tomato, and on that decent Potbelly bread (which doesn't, after all, have the same pungent aroma as the Subway bread). AND only $3. Downside? According to Potbelly.com, it pretty much negated my workout, calorically. Good thing I'm in it for the protein. =)

I'm gonna remember this.

Sweet Tooth Revenant

Yesterday afternoon, coming back from the Hill, I stopped at the Godiva in Union Station. You see, I'd been slightly inspired by an article in Consumer Reports which rated Godiva Dark Hot Chocolate the best they'd reviewed, and so I was seriously considering picking up a little. Also, my sweet tooth has come back with a vengeance -- maybe it's the season.

Good thing prices weren't posted; sometimes I think Godiva operates on one of those "if you have to ask..." pricing models.

Here is a play-by play of my experience. Or at least as much as I care to type.

1) "I'd like to order a dark hot chocolate" This is gonna be good.

2) "$5.50? Really?" This is absurd. Who would pay this much for hot chocolate? Oh well, I learned my lesson.

3) "Thanks. *sip*" Dear God. Dear, sweet merciful one, who has made the cocoa bean.

[I proceed to stand there, sipping, for about 60 seconds. Nothing cogent forms in my mind. Then --]

It's...velvety. It's dark; it's rich. It's intense, yet soft and sweet. Not so sweet that I'm not transported (because after all, sweetness for sweetness' sake is pretty much the problem in America). It's complex -- I wonder if I could do a tasting? Maybe Godiva would bankroll me. Or Consumer Reports!!!

And so goes the mind of Hungry Sam. I hope you've enjoyed this bizarre, stream-of-consciousness look into my psyche -- but this is a great deal of what passes through my mind when I'm REALLY enjoying food.

Spatchcocked Chicken (Hehehe)

It's official -- I WILL be roasting a chicken a week from now on. Why? you might ask. Don't interrupt me and I'll tell you.

Because it's AWESOME. And fun. And cheap, and delicious.

Tonight, BEE and I roasted a chicken, spatchcock-style, with lemon, thyme, and rosemary and young potatoes and fennel on the side. We snagged a 7.5 lb. chicken (a big sucker) for about $10 and now I have awesome food for at least 4 more meals (and a ton of high quality chicken stock).

Spatchcocking is a good choice for roasting a chicken quickly, particularly a larger one, because you're essentially spreading out the meat by eliminating the cavity. To spatchcock, flip your bird so the breasts are facing down onto your work surface. Using cooking shears or a heavy duty set of scissors, cut along the spine on either side, and remove it and the giblets. Turn the chicken back over and press down between the breasts so the bird is folded out.

We placed the bird on a foil-covered cooking sheet, then rubbed the skin with olive oil, salt, and pepper before covering it in dried thyme, fresh rosemary sprigs and thin slices of lemon. We surrounded it with quartered potatoes and diced fennel bulbs, drizzled them with olive oil, and sprinkled with salt, pepper, and some of the fresh fennel fronds. Prep took maybe 15 minutes, tops. So easy. Here's how she looked before she went in:

The chicken cooked at 400 degrees for about 50 minutes. Meanwhile, I threw the spine, meat attached, along with the giblets into a pot of boiling water, which I spiced with thyme, salt and pepper -- cooked for about two hours and I now have homemade, excellent chicken stock for the freezer. Win.

The chicken was incredible; I've paid plenty for worse at nice restaurants. The skin was perfectly crispy and spiced, not too fatty, while the aroma and flavor of the fennel filled the moist and completely tender meat. The potatoes were even better, buttery-flavored from the sheen of chicken fat on the bottom of the pan with just the right bite from the fennel fronds. Friends, the final effect:

I will do this weekly -- the whole meal was under $15 and even excluding the stock I have four meals-worth of leftovers. Plus it's fun, and reasonably fast if you spatchcock. Which is also a fun word to say.