BEHOLD:
This is, by weight, approximately ten pounds of latkes, and making them entailed the grueling and forearm-building process of hand-grating every last ounce of potato. That's just how much I like my friends (who needs a Jewish mother for guilt when there's Hungry Sam?).
The following is a list of things I learned last Saturday in the context of the Chanukah get-together I was hosting and feeding (after the break):
- I desperately need a food processor. One with a grater attachment, of course. Not that I didn't enjoy bonding with my buddy Anthony while we took turns trying to avoid grating our knuckles bare, but it took about an hour to shred the eight pounds of russet 'taters by hand.
- I always tell myself that I only need a food processor around three times a year max, so it's not worth it, but IT IS. OY.
- Working with onions sucks -- but working with MANY onions is far, far worse. I minced up four large onions for the latke batter (is it batter? I don't know).
- I was pretty much blinded by tears by the time I got to onion three, which, I can tell you, is not a safe way to work with a sharp knife. I need some goggles or something.
- CONSTRUCTIVE KNOWLEDGE: When frying, frying in more and hotter oil means less splatter and pain (a tad counter-intuitive, no?). Also, faster cooking means less greasy latkes. I think I may have now mastered the latke frying process, even if I'm my own worst sous-chef.
- MORE CONSTRUCTIVE KNOWLEDGE: Cayenne and cumin go GREAT in traditional, basic latke batter.
- Turns out paper towels won't catch on fire in a 225 degree oven. A fact which I (sort of) already knew because of Fahrenheit 451.
- Liberal arts majors DO have useful information!
- Also, is Fahrenheit 451 really the temperature at which paper burns?
- [After a quick trip to Wikipedia] Apparently not, based on this article about autoignition. Besides, the composition of paper towels is probably different enough from that of the paper used in books that it would likely be a different temperature anyways.
- Not everyone likes to top their latke with a combo of sour cream and apple sauce.
- Which, incidentally, is definitely the right way to do it.
- Which, incidentally, is definitely the right way to do it.
- And finally -- ten pounds of latkes is TOO MANY LATKES:
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| There are three layers, here. |
We have a lot of leftovers -- these latkes and a number of the delicious sweet potato/curry latkes my friend Rebecca made. So if you're in the DC area and want some three-day-old latkes...
Oh, and if you want the recipe, I pretty much eyeball things, but I did something much like this.
Happy Chanukah!